Thursday, March 25, 2010

the way...

(for Eila to celebrate her mental health day)

you haven't been sleeping til late.

often climbing into bed with me and holding my hand until you fall asleep.

the way you said, this morning, you felt sick.

and added non visible complaint after non visible complaint to a list to prove it.

The way i knew you were tired

and when i asked you what was really wrong,

while i stroked your hair, still full of chlorine and salt water,

and your eyes filled up

You took the risk

and you told me

about it all

and you opened your sad heart to me

you chose love

and i hope to live up to that choice.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


(this is inspired by the bright dark madonna)

I was in a bit of a dark place

i felt lonely a lot - my few friends - actually they are my tribe members - had very full lives and we don't often get together

and as i find solace in books, stories, the written word, i rely on the angels that live in the Whangarei library to deliver me what i need...

sometimes those celestial book deliverers are so on the money it is scary

and that day they must have put their best team on the job, because i found myself walking out with a book written by a woman with the same surname as me... it had a sumptious cover and a good hefty weight...

the book is called Magdalen Rising and is by Elizabeth Cunningham

i was only a few pages through when i found a new part of my heart opened up and i have not been the same since

i devoured all of Elizabeth's books in the library - the Passion of Mary Magdalen and the bright dark madonna

i stalked her - finding her blog, twitter, facebook, emailing her and telling everyone who would listen about these remarkable-soul-opening-heart-filling-story-uncovering-passionate-rich-alive-books.

Now before you dismiss me as a creepy loon let me explain a bit more...

Elizabeth's words make me laugh and cry and feel like i have come home (which is a bit weird because the stories are set in Christ's time)

i feel like i have found another branch of my tribe (albeit an educated and erudite and gifted one)

i feel more alive to myself since Elizabeth and Maeve have come to live in my heart.

She has inspired almost each new peice of artwork i have made since i encountered her.

i have a new relationship with Jesus since i read those books - since i was reminded that he was a man, with dirty feet and feelings...

my friends and i are passionate carriers of the flame of these books and have each been moved in very different and yet all profound ways by them

and Elizabeth has been a gracious stalkee... she has sent loving messages and laughter - she was the one who alerted me to the tsunami...

Then when i read that Elizabeth was singing the songs she had created for the books i couldn't wait to hear (this is my favourite for some deep deep unknown reason) she created a CD called Maevensong (listen you will be moved if you have a spirit like mine - ie: alive, seeking nourishment)

i wanted to buy Maevensong for myself and my friends and wanted Elizabeth to sign them so contacted her...

not to rant about the american banking system but it was very very complicated to organise this

and guess what

she addressed 5 cds to myself and my beloved friends and sent them free - on the proviso that we take her out to dinner when she comes to New Zealand (which i am shamelessy pimping to her in the hope that she will)

that is love in action

she didn't dismiss me as a creepy stalker (tho God knows she has grounds!) she opened her heart and she has blessed a small community of women in a country literally on the other side of the world with a gift of her heart's songs and spirit which is immeasurable..

i honour that Elizabeth chose love

and my eyes are full of wetgratitude for her place in my life and my heart

Sunday, March 14, 2010

loving friendship

love in action this time is about mollie

mollie comes here and reads

actually as per the first entry here she is the reason this blog exists in the first place...

one of mollie's best friends has been seriously ill recently

every day mollie went to her bedside

everyday - even for a very short time when her friend was most unwell - she sat and gave her friend comfort

she had to walk along way and take the bus to get there... through inclement weather

she had to put up with not being next of kin, not having access to information or to answers to her questions

she even fed her friend's cat

each step, each turn of the bus wheels, each prayer, each drip of the essence of love that flowed out of mollie

was love being chosen

Monday, March 1, 2010

the story of a miracle

a recent painting of another goddess my angel friend and i love together

now, i have a friend who is really an angel...

i know this because i have heard her sing

and i know this because the kind of crap she has been through wouldn't be loaded onto any mere mortal

and i know this because i see the geography of her heart and she is magnificent in her depth and heights and lows

and because she is made of love

The story is about how in her role as a La Leche League leader, (and awesome friend and well connected miracle worker- did i mention she is an angel???) supported a woman who had just given birth. This woman also had, besides being the vessel of a miracle, developed Reynauds syndrome - which is where there is a constriction of the blood vessels in the breast and is intensely painful. It also restricts the flow of colostrum

much against the mothers judgement the hospital (despite being a "baby friendly hospital") gave formula... (also against scientific guidelines etc but that's a whole other story)

my angel friend heard and gathered some of her own breast milk, along with two other mothers' milk - one of whom had only recently had a baby and was still producing precious colostrum and armed with information and protocols from elsewhere they went in. After much discussion and quoting WHO and support from some forward thinking midwives...they got her back on breastmilk exclusively!

through the grapevine a woman in another town heard and offered kilos of early breastmilk stored in her freezer ...

and wouldn't you know it a friend whose husband transports frozen goods heard and he was just leaving the other town with an empty truck... Would they like him to pick it up?

miracles miracles miracles

all because of that angel friend who was willing to stick her neck out

she chose love

and she changed the life of that little babe and their family